


the way we get by

by Iambic



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, unabashed sappy friendship fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2274240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iambic/pseuds/Iambic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immediately before 3D, Kairi delivers a pep talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the way we get by

**Author's Note:**

> Our household copies of KH2 and 3D are currently on loan or require additional console setup to play, so I may have taken some liberties. Whoops?

Kairi corners her more troubled friend out on the island's island, where he consistently goes to brood as if his intentions are anything less than completely transparent. The enigma about Riku has ebbed since his departure from their world. Maybe it's how much of him she's seen in extremes; the anger, the self-doubt, the fear of needing support all forcing their ways through his composure. Now with it restored, he's still not unbreakable. He's human, even.

It hadn't occurred to Kairi before that he might need her more than she needs him.

So she seeks him out, usually for nothing more than to disturb his determined brooding and make him do something normal for kids their age, or to push his buttons. She's had to relearn some of them. Time was the mention of Sora catching up to him would raise his competitive streak instantly; these days he just smiles a little bit and makes The Riku Noise. The Noise consists of some kind of back-of-the-throat hum. When he's upset or impatient it comes quicker, with a sort of nose huff, but when he talks about Sora these days it's fainter and more gentle. Kairi's been trying to explore the variations as she figures out Riku's new buttons. She's made some progress -- a careful jab, "how's my knight in _shining_ armor this morning?" yielded more of a low flat sound, accompanied by pink spots on his cheeks, and that's how she confirmed that Riku is _really bashful about being appreciated_. 

Today's not that kind of experiment. Ever since the latest letter from Mickey arrived, Sora's been fidgety and inclined to hit things, and Riku's brooding has been much less posturing and much more intense. He's been out here on the old paopu tree all weekend, as far as anyone can tell. He didn't actually notice Kairi as she crept up on him, and he starts when she sits down next to him on the sun-warmed treebark.

"Riku," she says, as solemnly as possible, "I think you've been avoiding me."

His eyes widen and Kairi has to smile quickly to let him know she's joking. "I'm kidding, silly. About avoiding me specifically anyway. I know you're avoiding _something_."

Riku winces. "I didn't mean to, exactly. It's just..."

Long, dramatic pauses have always liked to inhabit his sentences, so Kairi waits quietly. It's a good day for an emotional interrogation. The morning fog has long burnt off, and a warm but not overbearing breeze drops ocean spray on her face. Polite weather, her grandmother used to call it in Kairi's slowly regrowing early childhood memories. Good for a brisk walk or an outdoor meal, or coaxing your friend to admit the worries he likes to think are a burden on anyone who might be able to help. 

"I think Yen Sid is making a mistake. Sora's the Keyblade Master, not me. This examination just seems like a bad idea."

"Isn't the point that neither of you are Keyblade Masters yet?" Kairi says, smiling, but Riku frowns back. "Seems like the worst thing that can happen is, you don't pass. And then you can just practice more and try again, right?"

Again, Riku takes a while to put his words together. "I'm not worried about failing," he says, "or, not much. It's not the problem. I'm ready for it."

"I don't think you will fail at all," Kairi interjects, but Riku waves her optimism aside. His doubts seem almost tangible to him, the way he interacts with the space around him to accommodate them. They weigh him down or interrupt his movement. He carefully considers each obstacle and steps around or through them with intent. He keeps his blade arm tight and still, fist clenched, as if to prevent himself from summoning a weapon. At his side now, his fingers twitch as if wanting to form the same defensive gesture.

It comes of fighting and surviving for two years, most likely. Existing in places where surprise or stress meant a threat, and tightly-wound nerves kept him safe. Sora's in a similar state, though nowhere near as tense -- jumpy, yes, and uncharacteristically aware of his surroundings, but never so painfully self-contained.

When Riku doesn't continue after a few moments, Kairi figures he must have lapsed back into it, and the conversation is on her again. "But you are worried about something."

"I," he says, which to an old friend is a complete concept, and Kairi covers his tensed hand with her own and feels it, after a moment, begin to relax.

"You're worried about Sora," she summarises, and Riku looks down and breathes in, not as sharply as he could, but still. Still. Kairi rubs the side of his hand with her thumb and thinks of tide pools and scraped knees and Riku wielding bandages and disinfectant with the kind of calm she wants to return to him now.

"I've hurt him before," he says, slow and soft. "Intentionally, sometimes, but other times I had no control over it. And he believes in my control. He's so," and here Riku picks up speed and amplitude, "stubborn! He'll never admit to being wrong about someone."

Kairi shakes her head at that, both because it's true, it's so true, but also because -- "He _is_ usually right, though."

"Once he puts his faith in you it's hard to let him down," Riku concedes -- or, not, because that's part of the problem, isn't it? Riku, always so terrified of disappointing Sora. And there's the trick to his buttons, after all. It was never so much about the competition as it was about the inability to rise to Sora's expectations. Anyone who knows Sora, even for only a few moments, can vouch for the power of his belief in a person, but Riku must feel it more than anyone. 

"It's worse because you've let him down before," Kairi guesses. This time Riku actually nods, and meets her eyes for a moment. King Mickey mentioned it once, his eyes can't lie, and Kairi had heard it metaphorically, but -- it's not so much something in his eyes as around them, a wide and unshielded expression carved into the line of his eyebrows and the creased skin beneath. Riku, despite his Keyblade, can't quite lock all of his doors. 

Human. Fallible. He needs her these days, or maybe he always did. Someone who understands him too well for him to lie to himself in her presence. Someone who puts her faith in him only because he's earned it.

"Seems like that's part of the challenge, isn't it?" Kairi suggests when Riku looks away. "Confronting your fears. Not just the external ones, but the internal ones. Not just of the bad, but also of the good."

"You're saying I'm afraid of.... succeeding?" Riku rubs his face, and then finally manages a smile. "I think you're probably right. That's messed up."

Kairi grins back. "Well, the catch is, once you succeed once, you gotta keep doing it."

It's a polite kind of day, the sun warm but not burning, the blue-green ocean clear all the way down to the white sand bottom, the palms rubbing against each other in that way that sounds like gossiping neighbours. None of this would be here if Riku hadn't started winning out against his own darkness and doubt. But he has to live with it, and Kairi can only imagine how the spectre of precedence must haunt the doubt that also lives with it. 

She wonders if Riku has always been such an open book, and if she already knew how to read it but simply didn't notice. Or if part of his growth has been beginning to reach back toward the hands she's offered.

"This is Sora's test too, you know. If he's ready like Master Yen Sid says -- and I know he is -- he's as responsible as you are. And you know -- I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to let you down either."

But Riku laughs, and finally his fingers relax against the tree. "That's easy, though," he says, still chuckling. "I don't think he actually _can_."

That remains to be seen, Kairi thinks, but that she keeps to herself -- it takes time to realise the people you look up to are still people, and she's had years to work on it while Riku still has the full task ahead. The fact is, Riku may be slow to trust, but his own faith is as unshakeable as Sora's, as patient as Kairi's. That, at least, Kairi always knew.


End file.
